Snarkattack

How do I know this? BECAUSE I SEE THEM. I see these creatures displaying their wares, or rather, having their…wares…displayed. Every roll and fold of flesh threatening to burst out of their sartorial prison (while my manky frame is ironclad in a sartorial prison that would have agoraphobics reeling with vertigo).

But I’m partly hypocritical, I can admit it. While it’s all well and good to be large, I don’t want to see your fecking rolls! Public space is just that - public. When I venture out into the ‘public’, hard enough for me given my psychiatric problems, I don’t want to be confronted by your flab hanging over your jeans, boinging me out of path upon which I walk. No.

So just wear M or L already, it’ll still look good, you morons! And ‘walking head-jobs’ like myself (naturally not my preferred term to describe my lack of height) will be able to wear something roughly approaching actual size.

I for one am glad that bastards like the Australian fashion designer (British-born of course! no wonder he went belly-up) Wayne Cooper recently went into voluntary liquidation. Do you know what he said? He doesn’t make ‘larger’ sizes. Why the hell not? He’s designing (ladies’) clothing for a country whose average female is size 14 and he’s thinks that’s too large? Nice one, wanker. Go back to Britain and pretend to be a lawyer. It worked for you before. I was also glad to hear that one half of the famous ’snark’ team ‘Chaser’ also had a joke about Cooper’s lack of foresight on national radio (they do an afternoon show on JJJ, broadcast throughout Australia).

Thus the snark of today hath ended.