Snarkattack

It’s a hard life for a 155 cm/5-foot-nothing small-framed female living in the Western world. I’m 26 and people on occasion still ask me if I’m even legal. I can tolerate that.

But there things I can no longer stay silent on.

The ‘Marias’.

Please note, this is not my term, but the self-referential term of Australian-born women who are of European heritage (Medittaranean, and sometimes Turkish, Lebanese and surrounding areas). It probably began as a derisive term from the ’superior’ Anglo-Saxon population (you are no doubt aware that ‘white’ Australia was founded just over 200 years ago, supplanted amidst a people that had existed for possibly 40000 years previously and were - of course - inferior because of their dark skin. This is another snark, I fear…). Naturally, the fellows call themselves ‘Marios’.

You ever seen these chicks dress up for clubbing on Friday or Saturday night? Finally, I understand how it is they can wear next-to-nothing in midwinter, so as to snare a good snog, or whatever (alright, just this once, if I had that sort of confidence/stupidity/bravado, I’d probably do it too. But I don’t, so I’m here typing this).

But, it’s really not just them. Actually, I know I’m being unfair. Perhaps it’s that they’re loud, so I hear them first, and look in the direction of the sound. But in truth, it’s all young females (sometimes not-so-young which is just plain ghastly) who average about a size 12-16, yet insist upon deluding themselves and attempting to do so to others that they fit into smaller sizes.