In the golden age of our bathroom’s fascist regime, where we can call my brother the dictator, he would completely lose it over such important issues such as…
…toilet paper, as you do. It must’ve been male hormones too, or something.
Anyway, the reasons?
- the accusation that I leave only enough paper on the roll to avoid changing it for a new one
- forgetting to replace a used-up roll is some sort of a cardinal sin
- and my personal favourite: him going ballistic over - wait for it - the paper hanging too low down for when he is standing up
And I thought I was fucking mental.
Thankfully, the fascist era passed quickly (thank you end of teenagehood). Zip to ten years forward, to the present day and it seems like the time to give good ol’ communism baby a whirl.
My brother works for a debt collection agency and this might sound harsh, but very sadly it’s true, he’s not the most generous of persons. The reason I noticed this was because ironically, he was much more generous when he was unemployed, and a lot nicer. Now it’s like the world owes him something because he’s a working man (more like a chav in a business suit, says I). He’s avoided paying board and lodging, till I started doing so this year (voluntarily, I could be using that money for more lipgloss! Or books…yum) for the simple reason that he didn’t like the idea. What? Get a conscience.
Every now and then, he has made fun of my love for all things stereotypically girlie. But this is a recent development: when we were younger, he was the one who threw tantrums for the latest toys or clothing or running shoes. It might sound stupid, but I’m still sore over my mother telling me I cost too much money because I had to get some makeup for the ballroom dance in my fourth year of high school (ah the memories! that dance teacher we had was so camp and I can think of one reader here who can recall that whole experience!).
It was alright, my father was in some ways a better mother than my mother, he took me out and made sure I got some stuff, he didn’t like it that my mother had made me cry. He always made sure I had money for school books at uni and he never made me feel guilty about that either, he still doesn’t. Aside from CDs, classical ones at that, I didn’t really spend any money on things that, shock horror, I might enjoy because I’d most likely get criticised. Hey, I still do, it’s just now I don’t really give a toss. Plus, when you get criticised for long enough, you can’t give a toss, or you end up going mental. That’s why I’m writing this, eh?
6 Comments
Your brother needs to grow-up and leave home…as you point out he is the ‘mentally stable’ one (although reaching the bog paper when standing up confounds me - and I grew up with two brothers and now live with 3 of the male species, it’s not something I’ve come across…) so it’s time to pack-up his little red spotted hanky, tie it onto the end of a stick and set off. Check the hanky for bathroom products before he leaves.
Nothing wrong with a bit of pampering! I love Lush products too. Nice Viola too.
Hi Caro, great to see you back in cyberspace what with the move and all.
I dunno…sometimes I think I’m just being harsh, and the incident over him cracking it in regards to the toilet paper was quite a while ago, he’s now in his mid 20s.
In fact, a few years back I lived with 2 other males my age and seeing as I thought males were in the majority there, I actually used to lift the toilet seat up which very much endeared me to them, apparently. I think some folk are just born more considerate than others.
But eh, why would he leave home when he has it so good here? Mum fusses over him and sadly she’s brought him up to be dependent upon her, it’s sadly a part of her culture. That might account for why there has been so much tension between her and I: I try to be as independent as possible, which she miscontrues as me disrespecting her authorita…
He’ll move out…eventually. When he finds a lady to marry that will pretty much do the things that Mum does for him now. Oh how I shudder at the thought.
I’ll definitely check the bundle to make sure he hasn’t nicked off with my prized moisturiser! Heh heh.
Ooooh, as a fellow bath loving friend, I also love the smell after getting out of the bath, the steam mixing with all the yummy scents I’ve used… mmmmmm. I think I’m due for a bathtime entry in the blog. You can’t have enough things for the bath, I say!
Bathroom habits…hmm, I remember, when I was wee, my family used to use Cussons soap. When the bar was finished, we’d stick the sticker from the soap on the wall. After a while, mum would pull them all off and we’d start again. I also used to sneak peeks at my sister’s products. I remember my eldest sis used to use Clinique and one thing she used was their 7 Day Scrub. I’d stick my finger in the pot and think, “What on EARTH does she use this stuff for? It’s horrible! Feels like sand!!!” The things you remember. And now I abuse my own face with L’Oreal’s Micro-dermobrasion. Heh.
As for your bother…erm, I mean brother… freaking out over the paper hanging too low down?!?! hohoho, that’s a good one. He needs a good waking up, you have been too good to him! I would freak if the man used up my shower gels (let alone facecream!!!), thankfully he uses soap. We both use liquid soap at the sink though, and recently from eBay I purchased Bath & Body Works Coconut Lime Verbena anti-bac hand soap. Oh, this stuff is heavenly! The way the man uses liquid soap, it would be gone in under two weeks…so I’ve hidden this little B&BW puppy behind my make-up drawers, for my personal use only! In this case, stuff sharing! So I agree with you, you’re totally in the right for removing your goods from bro’s grubby mitts.
Heh, and as for his pine cone toothbrush (that gave me a good giggle :0 ), no it probably wouldn’t be any good for his teeth, but when he’s being bothersome again, you could probably suggest another place it could be used effectively.
My bro’s grubby mitts! Thankfully, in the hygiene department, I at least can’t complain that he’s festy, though stinking out the bathroom with cigarette smoke is bad form for me.
I’m usually perfectly happy to share my things with my loved ones, for instance significant others are more than welcome to use my cleanser, shower gels…whatever! My last one was exceedingly generous with his things, and even money, and I rather like a man who isn’t afraid to use moisturiser and admit it!!!
The Imperial Leather soap stickers always bothered me a little, I mean, when they start sliding around on the bar, what does one do with them? Sticking them on the wall would not have been on in my household, my mother can be just as bad as my brother in how she likes things ‘placed’ in the house!
As for being good to him: I dunno…he bought me a lot of Philosophy products a few years back and doesn’t expect me to pay him back - and believe me, that’s more than I’ve ever done for him as an adult. Being as unwell as I have, it hasn’t exactly afforded me the opportunity to be a proper big sister, not like when I was younger
But nagging him to change wouldn’t be right, will just have to hope that he grows to realise these things by himself.
Haha, yes, Imperial Leather was the name of that soap! It was indeed a tad annoying when the stickers started sliding around on the bar. I remember I used to try to see how small the soap would get before someone would pull the label off.
Ah, you’re right re. your brother. Nagging doesn’t really get one anywhere and there’s all a bit of give and take, which works out in the long run. I’ve learned that with the man, who can drive me completely insane…but I’m sure I do that to him too. That doesn’t stop me complaining about him sometimes though!
It’s true, VK! I can be much more fussy about my bed - being a long-time insomniac (though not at present!), I try to keep outdoor things like bags, books and worn clothes off my bed and I’ve been known to insist in a fastidious manner that no one is allowed to touch the inside of the bed unless they are freshly showered and washed! You know how much I adore my cat and not even he’s allowed on the bed unless he’s on the coverlet.
It’s extreme, but wow, doesn’t the bed always smell ever so nice, especially as I shower before bedtime. We all have our ‘analities’!
Which reminds me of a very amusing passage in Don DeLillo’s novel White Noise in which the older teenage boy Heinrich (who plays chess by correspondence with prison inmates!) insists that the weather will occur as reported upon the news or telly. It doesn’t matter what it looks like outdoors, or what others think, to him, the TV is the only source he stubbornly clings to!
Like I said…we all have our analities…
One Trackback/Pingback
[...] In case you fancy another variation on a theme, you are invited to read an abomination of one of my previously published blog posts. Did you get that? I edited a Snarkattack post for publication on Blogcritics. It was published, though edited heavily. [...]
Post a Comment