I was up till the early hours of the morn not being able to sleep properly and watching various documentaries on cable TV. Let’s see, we had Crown and Country, a programme of Prince Edward (of England’s) showing off the various riches of the kingdom. Hampton Court being the feature of the episode I saw. He wrote and presented it and did a good job, was surprised. But not so surprised to learn that Hampton Court was built by a commoner who rose to prominence (Cardinal Wolsey) only to have it nicked by Henry VIII because he was a jealous so-and-so.
Before that, brief snippets of Albert Goehring, brother of Hitler’s deputy Hermann. Albert saved hundreds of Czech, Polish and German Jews using his brother’s name, he really put his life on the line to do so. Some people are amazing.
Then…the zombies.
It’s a recent documentary (2004), and the audience is greeted by Anthony Stewart Head, who very quickly self-deprecatingly goes on to detail his fictional battles with various supernatural evils, as Giles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think he might just be the second sexiest older man on my list (Patrick Stuart being first). Gush.
Part travelogue, part personal diary, Head tries to find out as much as he can about zombies, meeting a British diplomat who has recently returned from Haiti. He then decides despite the intense political upheaval to visit it himself.
But we want to know about the zombies, eh? I’ll do my best to summarise.
Do they exist?
Science: no. A so-called zombie is someone who has accidentally been buried, mistaken for dead because their metabolic rate has slowed down so much. If the person is lucky enough to revive and break out, the brain damage deprived oxygen supply causes ‘zombieness’. There is no cure. Apparently, zombie state also confused with schizophrenia, the onset of which begins in puberty/young adulthood, after convulsive state. Given the civil unrest and extreme corruption, anyone can do anything provided they have the money and deaths/official documents can be faked and a zombie ‘raised’ from the dead.
Voodoo: yes. A few types: someone possessed by a spirit, possession granted by voodoo priest at someone’s request for revenge. This may result in death of chosen person but there are worse things than not dying. There is also the dancing into a frenzy very much in the tradition of whirling dervishes, Evangelical ‘baptisms’ etc. You work yourself up into an uncontrollable fervour and gyrate or scream like someone who is possessed: such rites exist in several cultures and religions. I call to mind Tony Gatlif’s most recent film Exils. Imagine the human at its most primal, no inhibitions. But as I said before, there are worse things than not dying.
That being, not dying. Duh. Sorry.
Suffering, rather than not dying, hence the ritual of zombification. The following is intended as an example, I’m not insinuating anyone do anything like this! Your stupidity is yours alone, I’ve enough of my own thanks. Not even sure I’ve got the names of the steps correct.
Step 1: judgement
I go to my local voodoo priest, and say I need revenge meted out to…a former lover who has stolen all my money and left me for another girl while I’m expecting his triplets. I am going to lose my house and have no job, how will I survive? The priest consults the elders and action is decided upon. If they rule in my favour, we proceed to the next step.
Step 2: revenge
My former lover has been tracked down and watched so that the most appropriate actions can be decided upon - as in, how to best undertake the next step - how to best administer that which will ensure the judged being’s suffering.
Step 3: poisoning
Appropriate poison and method chosen, then subject is poisoned. The poison could be ingested or even just touched. The victim would be put into state where nearly everyone would think you were dead, as metabolic rate is so slow that victim has no signs of life. Buried, nailed, end of story.
Step 4: zombification
NOT.
Victim eventually rouses from consciousness though will suffer significant psychological trauma from interment and oxygen deprivation, not to mention insects beginning to crawl. A party will dig out the leftover of human and if male, it becomes a beast of burden (seriously), or if female, an eternal date-rape victim.
The human can only be freed by death, death of the cursing priest, if the new master lets you go or if you are ever lucky enough to escape. Unfortunately, you never regain your lucidity. It really sounds awful.
Voodoo is not and I repeat, not evil. It uses some of the good and some of the bad. The main consulting voodoo priest Head and his crew spent time with was a gentle soul, who received people all the time, to talk about problems, give out life provisions if asked - a community service in one person, really. It’s all about balance, the darkness is just as important as the light, for voodoo. For us all. Oh, and of course, the grey area - really, really important: it’s much bigger than we’d all like to believe…
Heh heh, seems I have more of the zombie in me than I know. Guard your limbs, I might just try to eat you if I see you in person.
