After the sadness, comes the medication increase. After the increase, came the numbness (for the first time on the medication I take currently).
After the numbness, came the return of feeling.
It’s a double-edged sword, and a remarkably embarrassing one. I saw most of Godzilla last night, and nearly cried when Godzilla died. I never cry in films - though I nearly did when Boromir died in Fellowship of the Ring (well, I was reading the book and his death occurs at the beginning of The Two Towers, not in Fellowship). We’re not talking a few tears, we’re talking full-on bawl.
An episode of The OC just finished and a couple of people were crying, and that nearly made me cry, almost like you can ‘feel’ their pain so much that it makes you sad enough to cry. I hate the damn show, I don’t even know why it’s on!
Cruelty to animals, even fictional, on television really affects me badly when I’m like this. I have to change the channel or run out of the room, it sounds so weird.
Well, I guess it is weird, to not have control over what upsets me and what doesn’t. But by golly it does feel great to smile and for it to be real, for it to spread all through out one’s body.
Guess now might not be such a good time to see Peter Jackson’s King Kong, heh heh. Please, if there is a higher being, please let my neurochemistry work itself out soon, I don’t want to be a blubbering idiot over lame-arse things!
