Take 2 because bloody Adobe and its PDF crap froze my browser.
Springtime began early for me. On Saturday, this weekend just past, to be precise.
Saturday had me blue, so I put myself in front of the TV and watched pseudo-crime documentaries. Later on, I tried to do some work. What do you know, my attempt worked. Then Sunday rolled around and my meds were making me glitchy. Not good. NMD (nerd of my dreams, in case you’ve forgotten) came over and exerted a somewhat healthy influence upon me. We went for a long walk round my neighbourhood, and I was intending upon showing him this odd bluestone ancient monumentish thing. I’d never known what it was for exactly and as we approached, I had the very good fortune to spot what looked to me like native Australian birds. One I’d never seen before, it had a quill coming out of its head, pointing upwards. That part was blue, but the bird was grey-brown (kind of like MAC’s Moth Brown eyeshadow! sorry…non-beauty addicts). The other was some sort of rosella-type bird. But gosh! That first pair (both had partners!) had the most wonderful call, I’d never heard anything quite like it. Ah yes, Wordsworth would be proud. There are nice things about living this far out in metropolitan Melbourne.
After that we glossed over that bloody booklist for which I have love and hate, and debated the inclusion and exclusion of many a title. It has so many wonderful books on it and it gets me all excited about reading, which is a bummer because of all the review stuff I have to read. I know having run the po-mo (postmodernism) gauntlet I shouldn’t let canon-type lists ‘tell’ me what I should and shouldn’t read but…it still gets me. All those ‘if onlys’ - if only I’d gone to a good private school, if only I was allowed to study lit at high school, if only I didn’t have a breakdown so I could read more, more, more…
So on and so forth. But moving on - Monday, today. Got lots of boring organisational things done, and even all those things I procrastinate (like that blood test I was supposed to take um…a week after taking my mood stabiliser. It’s been over 6 months) like appointments rah rah rah. My bedroom is very nearly clean, and I decided to start wearing perfume. Yes, perfume (for ViolentKitten & helg - it’s Stila Jade Blossom EDP).
But the reason I say my springtime has begun is because I feel like I’m alive, and almost normal. Started listing some things on eBay, threw out some ancient video tapes (some didn’t even work anymore), and - get ready for it - am culling the makeup. Yes: a person only needs so many eyeshadows and lipglosses. I found 6 purple eyeshadows and 6 green eyeshadows that were so similar to one another it was insane. They had different textures, if that means anything. Slowly, am putting aside things that I can sell because they haven’t even been touched. I’m just bloody over it! Well, till next serious depressive episode (why do those bloody things make me want to buy stuff? is it something they put in the antidepressants?! or is it something in the lipgloss that makes me…hmm).
