Grace Notes @ Snarkattack

I don’t really want to talk about it but I shall say:

Ladies, please make sure you either do breast self-examinations, or if you’re of the age, get regular mammograms and screenings.

Men, make sure you remind the women in your life - any women - to do the above.

If not for yourself, then for your loved ones. Scaring the crap out of your loved ones is not on (and I’m not talking about myself).

I recall my cousin’s words…”…check your boobies!”

The news I got today was a little…numbing. And waiting for a particular phonecall seems like hell.

But it could have been so much worse. And it reminds me of things and people that are. (my) Mental illness seems so trivial compared to physical illness (of course, someone taught me that lesson the hard way).

What a suck-arse day. I locked myself out of my flat (and the spare key wasn’t where it was supposed to be Rob!), forgot to take my daytime meds, bled all over the place and had to talk to at least one hundred people who still don’t know what the internet is (I’m not exaggerating either - it would be about that many).

Thank christ for poetry. Apols in advance, my ‘read on’ tag is still not working.

As a once budding modernist lit scholar, the following poem appeals to me so much. I think my friend M will like this too, because it’s by Charles Bukowski, and because it features a writer swigging whisky (gasp! never!). I like it because the idea of a bunch of modernist literary greats nattering like a group of gossiping schoolboys (don’t deny it - I’m sure schoolboys have engaged in gossip before. I know boys do because one told me so the other day).

them and us

they were all out on the front porch
talking:
Hemingway, Faulkner, T.S. Eliot,
Ezra Pound, Hamsun, Wally Stevens,
e.e. cummings and a few others.

“listen,” said my mother, “can’t you
ask them to stop talking?”

“no,” I said.

“they are talking garbage,” said my
father, “they ought to get
jobs.”

“they have jobs,” I
said.

“like hell,” said my
father.

“exactly,” I
said.

just then Faulkner came
staggering in.
he found the whiskey in the
cupboard and went outside with
it.

“a terrible person,”
said my mother.

then she got up and peeked out
on the porch.

“they’ve got a woman with them,”
she said, “only she looks like a
man.”

“that’s Gertrude,” I
said.

“there’s another guy flexing his
muscles,” she said, “he claims he
can whip any three of
them.”

“that’s Ernie,” I said.

“and he,” my father pointed to me,
“wants to be like them!”

“is that true?” my mother asked.

“not like them,” I said, “but of
them.”

“you get a god-damned job,”
said my father.

“shut up,” I said.

“what?”

“I said, ’shut up,’ I am listening to
these men.”

my father looked at his wife:
“this is no son of
mine!”

“I hope not,” I said.

Faulkner came staggering into the room
again.

“where’s the telephone?” he
asked.

“what the hell for?” my father
asked.

“Ernie’s just blown his brains
out,” he said.

“you see what happens to men like
that?” screamed my father.

I got up
slowly
and helped Bill find
the
telephone.

I can’t recall what Shakespeare play it is that he says ‘If music be the food of love, play on…’

I was telling my friend C when she came over last weekend, that if I were rich enough, one of my eccentricities would be to have a lutenist follow me around everywhere and pipe beautiful music around me like the sillage of a fragrance (how’s that for synaesthesia…?). English Renaissance music is so sexy… (I was watching The Tudors again today, can you tell?)

I seem to be listening to a lot of music now that I spend a lot more time awake, and I’m going to have to make peace with the fact that…I like post-punk. Now, I didn’t actually know that it was called post-punk, it just so happens that a lot of artists I like the sound of are considered post-punk revival artists. And yeah, I like it more than actual punk (now I know how the post-structuralists feel…).

Yesterday at work, I unsuccessfully tried to listen to Last.fm and also Kohina. Sadly, connection was disallowed so no fun music for me. It’s okay though, I got to drink beer (yep, at work!). It’s okay, I’m listening to Kohina now *glee*.

Okay, so I can’t get this bastard image to centre align (stupid coding! grr, damn you, work!) but it’s pretty funny and oddly enough, I personally don’t find it that much of a deterrent…do you? Aha, there we go, centre align should be working now…

I wish Kohina scrobbled…

It’s about ten to two in the morning, on Tuesday and I’m up listening to music (at the moment, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone is playing - great artist), reading Frank Beddor’s Seeing Redd, the second in ‘The Looking Glass Wars’ trilogy, and testing various BPAL fragrances from the Poe collection (fragrances all based on a short story by Poe).

(NB. I did try to shorten this so you had to click on ‘read more’ because the entry is so long, but it’s not working for some reason - my apologies)

The weekend was really nice - my friend from Ballarat came down to visit and we did a spot of shopping before we came back to my place. We went to one of Melbourne’s favourite boutique tea shops - she bought Marrakech tea (Moroccan mint tea) and I bought Turkish cherry tisane, which I am now drinking, yum! We then bought sushi and doughnuts (I know, an unlikely combination!) for lunch and afters, then returned to my place to watch The Tudors, getting through two episodes before she had to leave. I don’t get to see C often, and it was nice to be able to enjoy her company properly. We giggled and made history nerd comments all throughout The Tudors (though I’m a lit nerd, and she’s a history nerd proper, having done her Honours in history).

Then on Sunday, I got to watch my housemate Rob brew two different types of beer. He put on a stellar demonstration for any member of the Engineering Music Society at Melbourne Uni (of which he is a member) to come and watch. It was big fun. Naturally we got to drink a lot of beer (there is a brown ale, and an amber ale on tap at present). The brews he made were a Monteith Black clone, and a Munich dunkel. For lunch we ate awesome gourmet burgers, and for dinner some pizza. Healthy, hee hee. It was a great day, it’s always fun to watch Rob brewing these concoctions in these big-arse pots, haha.

Then today, not so much. Spent the whole day sleeping pretty much, ran out of medication (whoops. That’s bad, the withdrawal on this stuff is supposed to be bad). But did wake up to a nice surprise - Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has two new acts for its Carnaval Diabolique! The Carnaval is a limited edition run, and will be disappearing at the end of Sept 2008. The only one that really jumped out at me was Tabula Smaragdina though Pickled Imp also sounds awesome. I may get The Grindhouse and Dionysia too. There were perhaps 2-3 ‘maybes’ but they had notes that sort of sounded like they would not work on me. I’ll be interested to hear what The Fragrant Elf thinks of this massive BPAL update - by the way, welcome home dear! Sorry about your car, though *growls at errant driver*.

Thought it might be cool to keep a record of what I’ve been listening to this week. I won’t do the weekend because I think I’ll be fairly busy and probably won’t be listening to that much.

Mon 12th May, 2008

V/A Nanoloop 1.0 - oh my gosh I cannot stress just how addictive this album is. It’s no longer available so I was very lucky to get it. Various electronic music artists, some well-known, others not so, get together and make music using the synth on a Nintendo Game Boy! How rad is that?! So it’s got that chiptune sound that just makes it so fun. Reminds me of when my most recent ex actually liked me. Feck, that was long ago.

Thom Yorke, The Eraser - okay, so if you like Radiohead, chances are you’ll love this, and it doesn’t disappoint. Lush, soothing, and glitchy. Yum. I played it straight after the album above to ‘wind me down’ (the above being high-energy stuff, hehe).

Jan Jelinek, Tierbeobachtungen - haven’t given this much of a chance despite this being by one of my favourite electronic music artists. Glitchy, minimalistic electronica that hypnotises. It’s the sort of music that washes over you. Nice for listening to late at night (which is exactly what I’m doing now).

Portishead, Dummy - me and housie were testing (non seq. thank you SO MUCH Rob for fixing my laptop) a Foobar feature. Man, it’s been forever since I listened to this album. I was a young’un when it first came out…I think my first boyfriend bought me my copy.

Tue 13th May, 2008

Boys Noize, Oi Oi Oi - yeah, yeah, I know I keep crapping on about it but it’s really wicked. The best description I can think of is that the artist sounds similar to Daft Punk, whom I’m not overly keen on (and must be the only person on the planet who seems to feel that way too…gosh, you should hear them crap on about them at work)

Luomo, Paper Tigers - zomg, Vocal City was tha shiznit. The Present Lover wasn’t too bad either. But I can’t say I’m a big fan of this album…maybe I need to give it another chance, and maybe Luomo needs to stop riding the success of ‘Tessio’.

Portishead, Third - I need to listen to this album by the seminal trip-hop act more. Man, it only took them eleven years…sheesh.

Future of the Left, Curses - woo hoo, some members of mclusky! Cursory listen, so not much to say at this point.

Einsturzende Neubauten, Silence Is Sexy - my ex put me on to these guys, and I’m glad, I really like what I’ve heard of them. They have an industrial lilt.

Julie Doiron, various tracks - supposedly a ’sadcore’ artist. Beautiful, haunting folk, with generally pared down instrumentation. She sings in French and English.

Wed 14th May, 2008

The Rapture, Echoes - debut album produced by the DFA - it rocks, I reckon, though they do sound very ‘arty’ for rock, and sometimes wimpy - but I dig that kind of thing.

Peaches, The Teaches of Peaches - I first saw this when I was in the UK in 2002 and because of the cover, said “hmph, why are they flogging this girl band shit?!” - uh, I was an IDIOT. It’s not girl band shit at all. In fact hypersexual electro is where it’s AT. Woo.

Thu 15th May, 2008

Klaxons, Myths of the Near Future - initial impressions are not good…thought I would like this a lot more. Probably need to give it a chance.

The White Stripes, Elephant - the only White Stripes album I own. Can’t figure out if I prefer this or White Blood Cells

The Bravery, The Bravery - fantastic EP. Kind of electro-rock.

Pilot of the Future, 1 - chiptune-inspired music! A duo from Brisbane who have this whole album available for free download on Last.fm which is where I got it from and found out about them. Go 8-bit go.

The Rapture, Echoes - yep, again!

The Soft Pink Truth, Do You Want New Wave, Or Do You Want the Soft Pink Truth? - electro versions of punk songs! It’s really, really good, the songs are so damn catchy and very provocative, as one can imagine. This has seen a lot of play in my car and my various residences.

Internet radio tagged ‘gamba’ on Last.fm - I’m really missing my early music CD collection, need to collect some stuff from my parents’ place. This is the best I can do for now. So far they’ve played some absolutely rapturous Tobias Hume and John Dowland. Thought it would be good music to have playing while I read some poetry.

Had a doctor’s appointment today. It was…hard. And it was payday.

That meant…BOOKS.

The prize find for today was a graphic work by John Coulthart - H. P. Lovecraft’s The Haunter of the Dark and other Grotesque Visions. It has an introduction by Alan Moore but even cooler, it has a listed soundtrack! As follows…

Coil, How To Destroy Angels
Brian Eno, On Land
Jon Hassell, Aka-Darbari-Java / Magic Realism
Thomas Köner, Teimo
Alan Lamb, Night Passage
Lustmord, Where the Black Stars Hang
Main, Hz
Paul Schütze, New Maps of Hell I & II
Tangerine Dream, Zeit

Other books were:
Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber (reinterpretations of fairytales)
Tom Stoppard, Arcadia (theatre/play)
Carol Ann Duffy, Rapture (contemporary poetry - started reading it straightaway)

Alas, the bookstore in question apparently misplaced my copy of Tom Stoppard’s Travesties that I’d ordered…

No more book-buying for the rest of the month for me.

I went through ALL my notes and tagged them so that it shows whenever I mention specific people. It turns out I mention Rob A LOT. Well, he is my best bud, but it might be scary to others who aren’t aware of that (incidentally, I know he doesn’t consider me his best friend - which is fine. He has a wonderful partner and they are probably the only couple I know who I pretend will never break up; I mean all couples do eventually, don’t they? Even death parts them…but not them. They will go down in the blaze of glory that is the double suicide caused by either a. over-consumption of homebrew or b. the Darvon cocktail. Look it up on Urban Dictionary. I’m still so pissed they removed its entry on Wikipedia and its deletion log wasn’t exactly super-easy to find. Oh christ, I’ve crossed a new level of nerddom)

Except one.

There was one note where I admitted I nearly sent a Valentine to someone I fancied. Now someone I had coffee with today was telling me about how one female friend he had used to blog about her now boyfriend before they started seeing one another, and how this bloke used to read her blog! Zomg.

So yeah, I didn’t tag that note. Hi B if you happen to read this through the dreaded Facebook. You will be tagged.

Hmm, I’ll mention that really cute bloke that both B and Rob know…but I won’t tag him. I think I’ve pestered him enough by actually telling him he looks hot on a photo on Facebook (aha! I know, I’ll do it retrospectively like I will with the boy I nearly sent a Valentine to when he’s no longer single. Aha…). Oh and thank feck my last ex isn’t on here either! Or Nerd of my Dreams…

Oh god, I’ve really plunged into the depths of the lame now, haven’t I? Come join, it’s soooo much fun. We’ll blame my persistent insomnia, hm?

Finally, the whole reading like hell thing is paying off. Now that I’m feeling much better (though the insomnia persists, will talk to my doctor about that) I’ve decided to give a project I tried a few years ago another shot.

I’m adapting a verse novel into a screenplay.
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So last week I had this brilliant idea that I was going to start writing a screenplay. It’ll be an adaptation of a verse novel - I have unsuccessfully tried to write a screenplay for it before.

I’m still waiting for the secondhand copy of Peter Ackroyd’s Chatterton that I purchased off eBay the other day. My mind is starting to feel a lot more active and work is winding down again so I’ll have lots of time to write.

I finally found that Bruno Pronsato album I was after, but it’s the Boys Noize one that’s totally got my attention at the moment - damn it rocks hard! I also bought The Tudors on DVD! Am so horribly excited, and am hoping to watch it with my former Elizabethan lit classmate over the weekend.

A meme! w00t!

You’re feeling: tired

To your left: table

On your mind: sleep/work

Last meal included: fish

You sometimes find it hard to be: happy

The weather: dunno, actually

Something you have a collection of: books

A smell that cheers you up: Puss’ fur

A smell that can ruin your mood: puke

How long since you last shaved: what, my legs/armpits? christ I don’t even remember

The current state of your hair: slightly tangled

The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): old computer disk box

Your skill with chopsticks: liveable

Which section you head for first in a bookstore: poetry

Something you’re craving: a good bonk

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: go Obama go? (as in that’s a cheer)

How many times have you been hospitalized this year: none, but it was close a few months ago!

Favourite place to go for a quiet moment: bedroom

You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: massager?

Something that freaks you out a little: crowds

Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: meat?

You have never: kissed a girl

You never want to: take acid

Where is your cell phone? in my handbag

Your significant other? nah, don’t have one of those

Your hair? mussed. wasn’t there already a question about this?

Your mother? improving

Your father? ace

Your favourite thing? words

Your dream last night? that I had a nose-ring

Your favorite drink? tea

Your dream/goal? stable mental health

The room you’re in? bedroom

Your ex? infuriating

Your fear? never getting better

Where do you want to be in 6 years? fitter, happier, more productive…

Where were you last night? at my parents’ place

What you’re not? tall

Muffins? what about them?

One of your wish list items? MAC

Where you grew up? London/Melbourne

The last thing you did? read poetry

What are you wearing? pyjamas

Your TV? I don’t personally own one

Your pets? absolutely adorable

Your computer? fixed!

Your life? improving

Your mood? better

Missing someone? alas, yes

Your car? old, but fine

Something you’re not wearing? a bra

Favourite Store? probably Readings in Carlton, Melbourne

Your summer? hot!

Like someone? yep!

Your favourite color? black?

When is the last time you laughed? last time I spoke to my housemate

Last time you cried? when I had to tell my father something awful

I went online and decided to use Neil Gaiman’s Magnificent Oracular Journal. The question I chose to pose (as a joke, I might point out):

Will anyone ever love me?

(and yes, I’m lame, I meant it in the romantic way)

The first answer made no sense. It was:

I read all messages (including Erin’s) sent to me.

You’re allowed to shake it again if it makes no sense. Which it didn’t. So I shook the magic ball again.

What I got was very coherent, and so funny I burst out laughing at work:

Probably in the shops end of September.

Uh, I think he’s answering the question “When will The Graveyard Book be on sale?” but it’s a pisser to think that this might actually be true for me.

Yea, I get to post a positive post for a change!

(Oh christ, I’ve forgotten how to use the ‘unordered list’ html tag, zomg nerd embarrassment…)

- Rome is being repeated on pay TV - am trying to catch it whenever I’m at my parents’ place
- found a Killdozer album that my ex once lent to me (Uncompromising War on Art Under the Dictatorship of the Proletariat in particular, which I recall being hilarious)
- I ordered some xkcd tee shirts
- I also ordered some cool comics by a guy called Jamie McKelvie (whom Warren Ellis waxes lyrical over)
- read a funny poem by Shanna Compton
- I ordered two plays by Tom Stoppard and they’re waiting to be picked up already! They are Travesties and Arcadia
- tried kangaroo meat for the first time this week at a steakhouse
- got some Keep Calm and Carry On apparel
- am on a new antidepressant (paroxetine) which seems to be loads better than the previous one (in that I’m not throwing up nearly every morning, w00t!)
- got some lovely BPAL in the mail - after ordering a month ago! sheesh
- Neil Gaiman is in Melbourne-town!
- I have the love of not one, but two cats!
- I finally have an idea for a poem, but it requires me to do some research/reading on the poet Thomas Chatterton

Or ‘glitch’ for short is what the most recent xkcd cartoon calls ‘broken hard drive techno’. According to the xkcd forum.

I happen to love glitch. In fact, I recently started listening to it again.

Life is slowly starting to improve. I’m socialising, losing weight, and reading an awful lot. On my day off on Tuesday I finished reading Neil Gaiman’s Sandman volume 8, Jasper Fforde’s Lost In A Good Book, and read two plays by Tom Stoppard (Professional Foul and Every Good Boy Deserves Favour) - both of which were highly political. I got all inspired after watching Stoppard dir. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (based on his play of the same name).

The Sandman series is coming to an end for me, which is sad…only three more volumes to go.